I wonder

Does anyone ever wonder what's it like to be...dead? I do, all the time. It's strange how things happen the way they do. And it's even more strange when they happen more than once.
I never took too well to deaths and I still don't. But as I got older, I start to feel numb a lot. Like after I cry one HUGE cry. I just sit there and think a lot and then I wonder what's it like to be dead. Is it like how it is on TV? Does your spirit fly over everyone and you watch them weep over losing you? Do you go to heaven or hell or just get stuck in limbo? Or do you just stay in the ground and you don't have no sort of memory at all? I wonder because everyone has their own kind of saying what happens to people when they die. Some say, "their in heaven looking down on you and with the rest of your loved ones." And the rather less religious kind of people will just tell you they are gone and just enjoy the good times. Umm, I wouldn't prefer to hear that, but I guess it's better than telling me some crappy answer like, "Get over it! They are dead!" *sigh* I don't know. Then sometimes I wonder what happens to things they valued the most or did they get a chance to let everyone know how they felt or what not? Supposedly, death is painless. Some people look at it as scary, dark and lonely. What do I see it as? I'm not quite sure myself. I just know I wonder what they do and think after it's all over and where are they and how long? I wonder...
Til next time

Where's my head?

Monday was my mom's birthday. We had a great time. We went out to eat, laughed, took pictures and she got A LOT of gifts. I was even surprised. Her brother really came through this time! ;) To the sweetest lady I know. Happy Birthday, mom! I love you so much! :) You are the best!

08 doesn't seem so great....

Hey everyone,
It's me again. I thought after losing my brother this year, I wasn't going to lose another. Well, l was so wrong. Today, I got an disturbing phone call from my old roommate's phone. It was her mom. She told me she had pasted. I was so shocked and dumbfound...I didn't know what to say or how to react. I just told her I'm sorry, if there's anything I can do, let me know. Really, I just wanted to hug her and tell her I know the feeling. Though I haven't truly gotten over my brother's lost, now I have another to grieve for. I really cared a lot about Tiffany. I called her Tippy. She was a very sweet girl and often misunderstood. I only known her for a little over 2 years now. But just that short time of knowing her, I did realize she was really great friend. She was one of the first people who I met when I moved to Atlanta and who wanted to hang out with me. She was one of the only people who spent my 19th birthday with me when I couldn't go back home to see my family and boyfriend. She taught me how to ride Marta and she gave me advice a few times on men. She also came home with me to my hometown one weekend to hang with me and my friends.With that being said, I will always love her. I'm really hurt that this happened to her, to such a young spirited soul. I pray for her family everyday. I'll never forget her and I'm sorry we didn't get to spend more time together.

R.I.P. Tiffany Capers.

A little game

Wanna play a game? It's called what's in my purse! I know, I know, sounds a little lame, but hey, you're reading it.

-Sensual Amber lotion (travel size)
-comb (we all need one)
-Car keys And extra keys
-check book (who writes checks anymore)
-4 pens
-3G iPod (black)
-2G iPod nano (silver)
-notepad (just in case)
-calculator (I'm bad with math)
-a lot of receipts
-money pouch (with a little money)
-earphones
-mase
- digital camera
-contact solution
-hand sanitizer
-peppermint
-2 usb drives
-school ID
-mouth wash
-lip gloss
-mirror
-nail clipper
-Debit card, license, gate card, and other club cards
and I think that's about it.
I got a lot of stuff but I don't use everything. When I use a smaller purse, I have a lot. When I use a big one, stuff gets in the way...ugh. I'm not really all into purses but I do wish there was an easier way to carry my stuff.
Til next time.

Ohhh Ahhh, Food Porn

Today's random Pick is ....
Diary Queen's Waffle Bowl Sundaes!! Man they are good as crap!!! If you like ice cream, chocolate or when you eat something, you like to eat it all! This is the stuff for you! My favorite is the Chocolate covered cherry one. (it's originally strawberry but I prefer cherries) They put soft served ice cream in a waffle bowl with chocolate on the rim, cherries, hot fudge, whipped cream and a little red spoon. You eat everything but the bowl. YUUUUM! I'm getting a little excited, I must go.

Ok, I notice that I only been getting comments from people with blogger accounts. UGh! So, I decided to change it up. Now, EVERYONE can comment! :) LOL ( I sound like I'm trying to sale something.) Anyway, I'm just posting to say to anyone who feels the need to say something (besides the Blog Staff) do so! Thanks!!!

Of course I might be late on this but I was in bed with a TERRIBLE stomach ache. I couldn't even go to work today. :( I needs money. But I was checking my email and my bro emailed me a link saying Jennifer Hudson's mother and brother was shot. WOW. That gotta be really REALLY hard. I mean, I know how it feels because I lost my brother in July of this year. It still hard at times. Whenever I see a gun or see the color red, I think of him. There were lots of good times there I think about but I stress myself out in the end because there's NOTHING I can do.
Anyway, it's really sad that she lost those two. I don't know what I'd do if I lost my mom, too. Jennifer Hudson was about to get married and everything. She just released an album. Then this? I'll keep her and many others who've lost someone in my prayers.
The thing that really erks me about when you have a death, it's like no one cares. They say their sorry and then they talk about something else. Do you know how many conversations I had with people about my bro and they just kinda blew me off. Then they'll say "let me know if there's anything I can do for you. I'm here." REALLY!?!? Really? Man, if that's what you call being there for someone, I don't want it. I can suffer alone. Well, anyway...
I'm not gonna rant on anymore about this. Sometimes people gets touchy about deaths. I guess they don't know what to say. I don't really know what to say at times. It's hard, though. God bless Jennifer Hudson, her mom, her brother and her family.