Pictures I like (of an adored actress)

This is just sexy... period.

This pic just really makes me smile. :) (how I would want to be with my family one day)

My living situation is so gay.

So, here I am at 1:52am at a local 24hr Dunkin Donuts using the wifi just so I can get away from my ridiculous roommate. Fun? Hardly.

I try to look at it on the bright side... (what doesn't kill you makes you stronger?)

But everytime I see his face, it makes me want to shove a pool stick in his skull. I just don't get it. How could anyone have THAT much to complain about? Hmmm.... Most gay guys are cool. This one...OH NO! So, as of now, I'm plotting my escape. Somehow, I seem to be always on the run now-a-days. I guess it makes a good story to tell, I suppose. *sigh*

On other news, Metric is having a concert this week and it's $50. I want to go but $50 is a little steep for me. So...I guess I'll just listen to their albums...lol

This weekend of course, is Halloween weekend. My cousin and I are celebrating...as usual. What does she want to do this year? She doesn't know. She just want to have fun. Which is totally fine but don't shoot down every idea someone else tells you if you don't have a clue what you want to do. And also, if you don't really have enough money to do all the things you want to do, let's keep it cheap. (advice for today from yours truly)

Lately, I've been feeling kinda old. I know I'm not that old but it sucks when someone in high school thinks you're their age and then finds out your not and respond with "Damn you're old!" O_O Yup...

Any new news? Trying to finish the dreaded AIA. Trying to find a job working overnight since that would be the only time I'll have to work. Looking for a new place to stay. It's getting kinda heavy, I might just have to move into my brother's living room. From living room to living room, here I come to stay!

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving. I love food. Food rocks.

I can't help but to admit, I'm a little sad I don't have anyone this year...cuddling season is approaching...*sigh* oh well...I guess I'll just sip my coffee and dream. Be happy, Jay. Things aren't all that bad.

Well, I'm going to go now. I have a lot to do...and I'm getting paranoid out here.

Til next time.... Someday it'll bring me back to you...

Moments in time....

Feels good

10:45am- Oh damn, I'm late!! I had to be to work at 11am. Am I still on CPT? I was hoping I would of broken out of that again...maybe not. I need to work on that.
Work wasn't bad, at all. Kinda slow but steady. We got new menus! (yay for hatch chili!)
I actually got to school on time...just to find out the instructor wasn't there. So we had a sub. The sub is one of the "norm" teachers...strange guy but funny. I'm taking Intermediate 3D modeling...again. Gah! When will it end???
Since I'm around a computer, I checked my email. To my surprise, I got an email from my first love. I hate to admit, it brought tears to my eyes,being that I thought I will never hear from him again. It's funny because I was thinking about him earlier and last night before I went to bed. No matter how hard I try, everything reminds me of him...down to Mayer Hawthorne, Big Bang Theory, Scott Pilgrim, Jelly Beans, Hawaiian Punch and cats. *Sigh* I was telling someone about the time we went to the haunted house. -_- I figured maybe Usher was right...I do have it bad. But seriously, what can I do?? I try so hard to let go...I just can't. Am I crazy?
So anyway, after reading his email, I did feel a little better. I didn't feel like such a sap. I realized out relationship throughout the years and I had the best time of my life. I experienced a lot, learned a lot, and just enjoyed his company. I've haven't quite been able to run into another guy who I click with the way I did with him. It's kinda good and bad... Good because that means he's special. Bad because I'll probably never get married now. Damn. But hey, marriage isn't everything. I am glad to know he still loves me somewhere in his heart. I always wondered how could you stop loving someone so quick. I'm still hoping one day he will want to be my friend because I always loved him as a friend before we were together. I'm trying to be ok with the fact he's moved on and doesn't want to be with me anymore...ever. And eventually, I will...I hope. For now, I'm focusing on school, work, and getting myself together. One day, I'll have my own place again, get my cat back, and my life. Til then, I'm just a girl living in a living room of a nagging gay man who drives a moped. *sigh*
Well, gotta get ready for a birthday dinner tonight...it's the second one this week. What's with October babies?!
Til next time,

I forgive you.

Where ya been?

Ok,for those who do read my stuff, they ask, "where ya been??"
Honestly, I've been going through a LOT of crap....
Things aren't exactly all the way better but at least I have a computer to use now.
I'm back in school..which is great I guess. I really want my degree. It's been a long time coming.
I still work at a Mexican restaurant. And I live in living room of a gay guy. It's not all bad, but it's not all good. It could be so much worst. And you know what? I'm thankful for that. (haha-inside joke with a girl friend of mine)
You know something that always had me scratching my head? Relationships. I didn't think it would be such an heart ache til now. I tell ya, when that Irish guy said "when a heart breaks, no it don't break even" he was so right. Because it's like hell for me while he's doing so great, doing so much and seem to have forgotten about me. I'm trying to deal. Nothing works. Nothing. And everything hurts. Hopefully one day, I can and will be ok. For now, I'm just dealing. No one said it would be easy or take so long...but man, when does it end??
I'll always love him. Always have space in my heart for him. I always think of him. I guess it hurts more knowing the feeling isn't the same. And just the way he treated me hurt a lot, too. Instead of telling me he couldn't be my friend and didn't want to talk to me, he ignored me and treated me like a pest. Ouch.
Maybe I'll go away someday but til now, I'm stuck in a rut. Gotta be thankful for those.
I've been listening to Bjork a lot lately...it helps me a lot to...relax.
I saw my cat, Paco the other day for the first time since I dropped him off at my bro's house. He's a really fat cat. But I love him so much. My lil' boo he shall stay. Even if he was a bobcat, I will still love him. (I told my brother)
I think I'm going to go and do something with my life now...I been on this thing all day and only drank half of my coffee, ate half of my bagel, one spoon full of apple sauce and filled out half of a job app. *sigh* my life...
Til Next Time,
Cross your heart...and hope not to die.