Looking back.

You ever had that conversation with your parents or someone in that sort of light who told you to do something with your life and don't just throw it away on something stupid or petty like Men/Women, drugs, alcohol or gambling? What started as just a dinner for 2, turned up to be a lesson in life? Say for example, you're at Waffle House and you're about to order. The waitress, a worn out skinny frail hospital-shoe wearing middle age woman comes to your table to take your order. She's not rude but there are a few adjustments that will make the service just an ounce better. So she walks away. Your Dad/Mom leans over to you and say, "See, you don't wanna look like that in a couple of years, do ya?" You say shake your head "no". Then they say, "Well, go to school. Get you an education. Go out there and be somebody." You say ok and think to yourself, "man I'm glad I don't have to work that hard or look like that". You never wanted to end up that way. You say to yourself, "I'm better than that. I know how I want to play my life out and it's not going to go that way." But High School years fly by and the next thing you know, you're standing there head in hand and wondering, "Where do I go now?" Let's say you decide to go to college. You get there and you are enjoying the college life. Getting to know new people, experience things, and all the other great things that people say about college. Then there's a big issue you run across- MONEY. Next thing you know, you need a job to help with books...unless your family are well off with the money. Then you find yourself working a little part time job at a restuarant because that seems to be the only places that will hire you and work with your schedule. You're ok with it at first...after a few months, you start noticing things. Then the months go by, next years. And before you know it, you've been working there for about 10 years. You dropped out of college because the bills go to backed up. (hey, you gotta eat.) The work load became heavy. You only had just so much to go, and you promised yourself, when I get everything back paid up, I'll go back and finish. Yeah, that's the ticket. But somehow, one thing after another kept popping up, so it seemed. Everything in went wrong. You lost the place you were staying at because you couldn't pay the rent. You had to move in with a friend "temporary"-you know, just til you got on your feet. 3 weeks turned into 6 months and now you're days are numbered with your "friends". You don't want to move back with mom because you want to prove you can do it on your own and your pride is just too much in the way. You were THIS close to paying off that credit card, til someone side swiped you in your car. Now, it's totalled. They had no insurance. You can't get it fixed for whatever reason may come up. I don't know. Then you ended up spending your last pay check on trying to fix your car. Then you get fired for some bulls*** that you thought was a little unfair or had nothing to do with you. They just say, they had to let a few people go. Wouldn't it be you? So, you're going to be on the street soon. Nobody wants to help a grown person. You suppose to be astablished now. But you're not. You don't have a degree, you don't have any real friends, you have a companion (someone who cares about you and to help you fight some of these battles) and you could of had your parents somewhere in here, but you were too big and bold to say, "Hey, I need some help". So what are you going to do now? You look at yourself in a dirty Waffle House bathroom that reeks of urine and something forbidden to touch. You wipe the sweat off your forehead and put your paper hat on with the restuarant's logo across it and go back to work. You've just became that worn out lady with no future. It seemed so easy to not fall into that trap when you were young and blink...there you are. Not saying she's a bad person for being that way. You never know why somebody works at a cruddy job or how long or what's going on at home. All you know is, you don't want to end up like that. My thinking on this is that it really isn't too late to fix it. There are certain things you will have to give up or do to be successful. But suffering never was fun or a goal of anyones. I know it's easier said than done. But I'm already going through part of that. I'm just hoping I can find a silver lining in my gray clouds. I'm not really asking to be rich...just comfortable. This story was really just a worst case scenerio and not based on anyone I know. Just speaking. And Waffle House was the only restuarant I seen in the past few weeks with run down looking waitress'. Anyway, all I'm saying is don't put yourself down and give up on what you want out of life. There are good people who suffer everyday with just the everyday outcomes of life. They didn't choose for this to happen. It just kinda did. But you can fix it. It don't have to be that way. Don't belittle yourself because something is hard or things don't go your way. As long as your alive, you have a fighting chance. So, stop being lazy. And help yourself. If people see you trying, you never know, they might help or at least open a door for you.
Ok, I'm done with my little rant. I feel like that sometimes. My back and feet hurt from standing all day and moping and lifting heavy objects. I always told myself I wouldn't be that way. But you have to start somewhere. Just don't end there.
I haven't been posting lately due to lots of stuff to do, besides work and now school. And sometimes, lack of things to talk about. And I don't want to be like some people who blog and just throw something up saying, "Hey, I'm just here...you know, just bloggin'". That's cool and everything, but a friend told me not to EVER start a blog like that. I'll just take that advice. Do think twice. lol Well, I do have an appointment I have to attend to. It's been interesting. Let's do lunch or something. Peesh!
Til next time.
J