Where ya been?

Ok,for those who do read my stuff, they ask, "where ya been??"
Honestly, I've been going through a LOT of crap....
Things aren't exactly all the way better but at least I have a computer to use now.
I'm back in school..which is great I guess. I really want my degree. It's been a long time coming.
I still work at a Mexican restaurant. And I live in living room of a gay guy. It's not all bad, but it's not all good. It could be so much worst. And you know what? I'm thankful for that. (haha-inside joke with a girl friend of mine)
You know something that always had me scratching my head? Relationships. I didn't think it would be such an heart ache til now. I tell ya, when that Irish guy said "when a heart breaks, no it don't break even" he was so right. Because it's like hell for me while he's doing so great, doing so much and seem to have forgotten about me. I'm trying to deal. Nothing works. Nothing. And everything hurts. Hopefully one day, I can and will be ok. For now, I'm just dealing. No one said it would be easy or take so long...but man, when does it end??
I'll always love him. Always have space in my heart for him. I always think of him. I guess it hurts more knowing the feeling isn't the same. And just the way he treated me hurt a lot, too. Instead of telling me he couldn't be my friend and didn't want to talk to me, he ignored me and treated me like a pest. Ouch.
Maybe I'll go away someday but til now, I'm stuck in a rut. Gotta be thankful for those.
I've been listening to Bjork a lot lately...it helps me a lot to...relax.
I saw my cat, Paco the other day for the first time since I dropped him off at my bro's house. He's a really fat cat. But I love him so much. My lil' boo he shall stay. Even if he was a bobcat, I will still love him. (I told my brother)
I think I'm going to go and do something with my life now...I been on this thing all day and only drank half of my coffee, ate half of my bagel, one spoon full of apple sauce and filled out half of a job app. *sigh* my life...
Til Next Time,
Cross your heart...and hope not to die.